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What do you think of this?

The movie BREACH raised a provocative issue.

Mini-spoiler alert

In the movie, the young FBI guy who helped bring down the bad guy was instructed by his supervisor not to tell his wife anything about the assignment. According to the movie, the young guy and his wife were very much in love, yada yada yada. And the assignment was seriously messing up their relationship. Yet his was such a BOY SCOUT, he never breathed a word to her about the true nature of his work, even though she was clearly trustworthy, and even though he was hurting her feelings at every turn by keeping the truth from her.

Apparently, the movie’s writers interviewed this young guy, or maybe even based the movie on a book he wrote. And apparently, this young guy maintains to this very day that he never breathed a word to his pretty wife.

What do you think?

I think he told her. I understand why he has to claim that he didn’t tell. But seriously, don’t you think he did? Just a little bit?

Kate

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Mar. 1st, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
I don't think he told her
He might have let her know that he couldn't but I have friends and a dh who very often can't answer my questions (and when I worked for $$, I often had to keep my mouth shut about what was going on with various clients -- not for top secret stuff but insider trading or proprietary stuff). Some of our friends work in an environment where there are classified/secret/top secret kinds of things; some of us work in jobs where things are proprietary and still others of us just work in jobs where we know what's going on that telling someone might lead to insider trading, which is illegal and unethical and really bad for your reputation if it is even suspected you spilled the beans. As some people get high up in the military, their spouses also get clearance so that they can attend or host dinners where classified info might be shared.

So, no, I don't think that he told her. I think that it takes two special people to make a relationship like that one work and that if she doesn't learn early on that she's in such a relationship it won't make the long haul but there will be so many things that he can't talk about that they need to figure out early on how to deal with it.

Pen
katedonovan
Mar. 1st, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC)
Re: I don't think he told her
I agree that he couldn't share confidential details. My husband and I are both lawyers, and we get stuck on that sort of thing all the time.

But you hit the nail on the head -- he should at least be able to tell her that he was working on something stressful that he couldn't discuss. In this case, he couldn't even do that, because his supposed assignment was to be the assistant to the FBI's top IT guy -- Hanssen -- but his real assignment was to get dirt on Hanssen. So he'd come home all stressed out for no apparent reason.

And the worst part -- the part that makes me think he secretly said something -- was that he USED his own wife to get info. He forced her to socialize with the Hanssen's as a couple, even though they were judgemental and pushy. He even forced her to go to church with them.

More later, I've gotta get to work!

Thanks for commenting,

Kate
(Anonymous)
Mar. 2nd, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
Re: I don't think he told her
Oh, now I don't know what to think -- he couldn't even tell her that he couldn't talk about something? She needs to get better instincts! I still like to think that the people in those relationships just go with it and on the one side keep their mouths shut and on the other don't ask -- although I wouldn't hold it against anyone if they double checked now and then by asking something like, "It's work, right, and not us? You're not having an affair or anything?"

Pen
katedonovan
Mar. 3rd, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
Re: I don't think he told her but I hope he did
You'd like the way the movie handled it. Her instincts were okay -- she clearly could see he was stressed from work, not affairs or such.

But I would have found her more believable if she had at least thrown a shoe at him.

Isn't it interesting? You want to believe he didn't tell her, and I want to believe he told her a little something, gave her a hint, offered reassurance.

Apparently I'd make a lousy spy!

And seriously, I think the part that bugged me in this movie was that he involved his wife in the assignment -- truly used her -- and yet didn't give her the courtesy of letting her know she was performing above-and-beyond. He basically just said, "do it for me" -- ugh. I would have liked him more if he had drawn the line at dragging her into it.

Kate

p.s. Did you ever see the re=runs of the original Dick Van Dyke show? There was an episode where the neighbor, Millie, told Laura a secret. She made Laura swear not to tell another living soul. Then Millie added, "And when you tell Rob, make him swear too." And Laura flushed and assured her, "My oath covers us both."

I always liked that scene. No wonder my ethics are all screwed up! Of course, I'm in good company. Even courts of law don't make spouses reveal confidential marital communications. I guess judges are romantics at heart.

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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